Guidelines for Working with Children
- Be nurturing, comforting, and affectionate, but be sure this is an appropriate “context”. For children who are physically and/or sexually abused, intimacy can be connected to confusion, pain, fear, etc. It is important to provide hugs and other physical comfort, but only when the child seems to want that contact. Do not interrupt a child’s play or other free time by grabbing them or holding them. Don’t command them to “give a hug”. On the other hand, for those children who seem to cross over physical boundaries and personal space, it is important to explain to them when to offer hugs and touch and about asking permission to do so.
- Provide a consistent, predictable pattern for the day. Make sure the children in your care know that pattern for the day and when certain activities will be conducted. It is important for traumatized children to have a sense of predictability because too often their experiences are opposite.
- Give the child “choices”, and some sense of control. Abused children have been made to feel powerless, and when given some choice or element of control in an activity or interaction with adults, they will feel more safe, comfortable, and will be able to feel, think and act in more appropriate manner.
- Do not force a child to talk about their experience. Once a situation is known by the FIA or law enforcement, it is important to the investigative process that a child not be made to tell and re-tell their story. If a child does choose to speak to you about it, be an active LISTENER; be attentive and make eye contact. Do not counsel the child. If what the child shares with you seems to be important, certainly contact the FIA about it immediately.